You too can read the words "Tom Breen" in the Circus Report Newsletter....if you subscribe to it.

Dear Diary,

I'm at my grandparents house in FL. The tour is over. It was the second awesomest thing that's ever happened to me. I'm going back in Feb.

Over the course of the 6 month tour:
1)I couldn't breathe for about a week cause my ribs shifted from sleeping on a sheet of plywood.
2)I got Cellulitis and was prescribed the same medicine they give people with Anthrax.
3)Attacked by fire ants.
4)My arm turned 3 different colors at one time. Like Neopolitan Ice cream; my forearm was brown, above the elbow was white, and my shoulder was red.
5)My throat closed up for a few days.
6)My nose closed up due to over use from the throat closing.
7)I threw up at least 3 times while I had an audience looking directly down my throat. One of those times I was bent over so people could look and I caught the vomit in my hand while bent overwith the sword in my throat. I extracted the sword, stood up, licked my hand clean, and went inside to perform again. We now call that "the 3rd part".
8)I was hit in the eyeball with a swinging light plug. The Eye-Ball. not the eye-lid.
9)Suntan lotion directly in my eye temporarily made it impossible to see.
10)I saw 3 consecutive porta potties that were so full, they were literally piled up OVER the seat in a mountain of shit. One of them had a pepsi cup stuck on the top like the angel on a christmas tree.
11)Met not one, but two (TWO!) girls with the dreaded "Blue Cheese Teeth" syndrome.
12)Had an admitted crack addict stripper with a wrinkly/stretchmarked/saggy/hanging belly and a strangely cold and wet ass cheek lipsync the words to the song "turn around"(from the Old School cursing wedding singer scene, except she didn't curse...she was serious) while dancing for the sideshow crew.

Thats just a little list of injuries and gross shit, but in no way does that represent even 1/10 of the shit that I saw, heard, or took part of during the season.